Having a child who you believe has a learning, behavioral, or developmental difference can be one of parenting’s most difficult challenges. The array of possible treatments is, more often than not, vast and confusing. How do you know if you are making the right choices? Most importantly, how do you know if a therapist’s thinking is right for your child?
In this guest post, clinical psychologist Mona Delahooke explains why and how she has integrated the science of relationships and treatment for children to offer parents and their children more effective approaches to issues they may be facing. Her relationship-based approach unravels the latest neuroscience to make her work invaluable to service providers who work with young children.

Dr. Delahooke explains:

Seeking mental health support for a child can fill parents with both hope and fear. You might feel relief that you are taking positive action to help your child. But that often comes with stress over finding the right provider. Therapists have a wide variety of approaches to similar challenges. How to choose?
Not long ago, I met parents facing just that question. Their six-year-old son Henry would become so upset at kindergarten recess that he frequently started physical tussles with classmates. After a behavior therapist failed to remediate the situation, his private school was on the verge of asking Henry to leave.

By the time his parents contacted me for a psychological evaluation, they were quite confused about what would be best help Henry. It’s no wonder. The variety of approaches can be downright dizzying.
When I was training as a child psychologist several decades ago, I learned many different paradigms, including behavioral, cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, humanistic, and play-based. Our professors taught us to rely on the “DSM,” the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, for everything from making a diagnosis to formulating a treatment plan.
As I began to practice, I found that things were not as neat and simple as I had learned. In real life, working with children and families was more art than science. More than I relied on research, techniques, or ideology, I used my intuition—my sense as a human being about what each child needed. Over time, the establishment came to validate that approach.

In 2013, the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH)—the world’s largest funder of mental health research—stopped funding research that was based solely on the DSM manual.  An explosion of neuroscience research in the 1990s had revealed how intertwined the body and mind are. This meant rethinking not only research, but also treatment strategies as well.
Now the NIMH requires that research look at something much bigger: the underlying processes that support mental health. These processes encompass a wide range of biological, environmental and psychological pathways that contribute to mental health challenges.

 

One critical process is a regulatory system that includes “emotional regulation,” the ability to calm oneself in mind and body. When a child’s emotional regulatory system is compromised, it hinders the child’s ability to feel calm, recover from disappointments, make transitions, and manage the stress of daily life.  These challenges often result in tantrums, oppositional defiance, and acting-out behaviors.